Hi Friends of LifeBytes,
When Mariann and I started the LifeBytes anthology project, we did so with the assumption that all of us – men, women, young, old, bi, gay or straight – were looking for love or a relationship. We are awed at the unique and diverse adventures many people shared with us and we certainly appreciate their openess and honesty.
Now we’re curious about how the differences between gender, age, and orientation impact how people date online and their indivdual experiences. Soooo….one night over book talk and too much Pinot Grigio, we came up with a list of questions we would love for our readers to answer. We would use your feedback as the foundation for articles/interviews and even here our blog. I think you’ll find it as fascinating as we do.
Please answer the questions here either in the comments section OR by emailing your answers to us at bookeditors@lifebytesbook.com. If you don’t have time to do this all in one sitting then please send us your answers/thoughts/opinions in separate emails/comments. PLEASE NOTE: this is an ANONYMOUS survey, we only need some basic demographics from you (age, gender, orientation)
If you can forward the questions to your friends or post our link on your status or tweet our page, then we would greatly appreciate it. We appreciate the LIFEBYTES followers. You are the best!
1. Are you on a dating site to find a long-term relationship or are you more interested in just dating casually?
2. Will you contact a profile withOUT a picture?
A. YES. Email or wink only?
B. NO. What would make you want to contact a profile without a picture?
3. Will you email a person whose picture is attractive but whose write up lacks the substance you prefer?
A. YES.
B. NO.
If you are not sure, does it impact the text of your email?
4. Do you find that there are often many new profiles listed in your target age range or are they usually the same group of people showing up?
5. How long after initial contact do you want to meet someone?
A. How detailed do you like the emails to get before you talk or meet?
6. What is a deal breaker in a profile or picture that turns you off immediately?
A. What captures you immediately?
7. Do you find the people you meet look like their photo?
A. YES.
B. NO.
If you had to put it into a percentage (%) – approximately how many of your dates actually look like their photos?
8. How honest do you find people about their profession?
A. Age?
B. Marital Status?
Is there a point when a “Fib” is a lie that is unacceptable?
9. Do you find a lot of “serial” daters online?
A. Have you become a “serial” dater?
10. When you are scanning profiles, what makes you stop? Just looks? The tag line?
A. Are you less or more likely to give someone a chance if they sound interesting but are not exactly what you are looking for?
11. How important is age?
A. How old is too old or too young?
B. Will you contact / respond to someone outside your preferred age range if you like their picture or profile?
12. Are you on multiple sites? (Please list them)
A. Have you seen the same people on different sites with different personas?
13. Have you ever met someone once and then after some time has passed find you contacted that person again? If yes:
A. Did you recognize them and try to give it a 2nd chance?
B. Did you contact them because did not remember you contacted them before?
C. Did you ever meet someone and realize upon meeting that you met them before? Did they recognize you?
D. Did you have the same reaction or type of date as the first time?
14. How long does it take, after meeting someone, for you to decide if they have potential?
A. Do you ask for/accept a second date if the first date was neither good nor bad but just OK?
15. How many dates do you give someone before you either commit to something long term or decide to walk away?
16. Please feel free to make any additional comments or observations about online dating (positive or negative).
FOR CLASSIFICATION PURPOSES: (please answer these as they are very important)
What is your:
Age:
Gender:
Sexual Orientation:
1. Are you on a dating site to find a long-term relationship or are you more interested in just dating casually? LONG TERM (BUT NOT GOING SO WELL
)
2. Will you contact a profile withOUT a picture? USUALLY NOT
A. YES. Email or wink only?
B. NO. What would make you want to contact a profile without a picture? A TERRIFIC E MAIL FROM THEM – FUNNY, SMART & LETS ME KNOW HE READ MY PROFILE
3. Will you email a person whose picture is attractive but whose write up lacks the substance you prefer?
B. NO.
If you are not sure, does it impact the text of your email?
4. Do you find that there are often many new profiles listed in your target age range or are they usually the same group of people showing up? I’VE BEEN AT IT FOR A WHILE, SO I I’VE PRETTY MUCH SEEN THEM ALL
5. How long after initial contact do you want to meet someone? A COUPLE E-MAILS … I’D RATHER BITE THE BULLET & MEET – CHEMISTRY COUNTS FOR A LOT
A. How detailed do you like the emails to get before you talk or meet? DON’T FOLLOW SET RULES, JUST SEE HOW IT GOES
6. What is a deal breaker in a profile or picture that turns you off immediately? COCKY SOUNDING OR OVERLY RELIGIOUS
A. What captures you immediately? SMILE, WIT, INTELLIGENCE
7. Do you find the people you meet look like their photo? FOR THE MOST PART
If you had to put it into a percentage (%) – approximately how many of your dates actually look like their photos? 75%
8. How honest do you find people about their profession? PRETTY HONEST
A. Age? NOT SURE, PRETTY HONEST I THINK
B. Marital Status? YIKES, I HOPE HONEST, BUT WHO KNOWS?
Is there a point when a “Fib” is a lie that is unacceptable? ABSOLUTELY – I DON’T LIKE DISHONESTY
9. Do you find a lot of “serial” daters online? YES!!
A. Have you become a “serial” dater? SADLY, I WAS FOR A WHILE, BUT NOT ANYMORE – HAVE GOTTEN VERY CYNICAL ABOUT THE WHOLE THING
10. When you are scanning profiles, what makes you stop? Just looks? The tag line? BOTH
A. Are you less or more likely to give someone a chance if they sound interesting but are not exactly what you are looking for? MORE – LOOKS ARE IMPORTANT, BUT PERSONALITY IS KEY!
11. How important is age? SOMEWHAT
A. How old is too old or too young? REALLY NO SET NUMBER
B. Will you contact / respond to someone outside your preferred age range if you like their picture or profile? YES
12. Are you on multiple sites? (Please list them) FOR A WHILE I WAS ON MATCH & PLENTY OF FISH
A. Have you seen the same people on different sites with different personas? YES!
13. Have you ever met someone once and then after some time has passed find you contacted that person again? NO, BUT IT HAS HAPPENED TO ME …….. If yes:
A. Did you recognize them and try to give it a 2nd chance?
B. Did you contact them because did not remember you contacted them before?
C. Did you ever meet someone and realize upon meeting that you met them before? Did they recognize you?
D. Did you have the same reaction or type of date as the first time?
14. How long does it take, after meeting someone, for you to decide if they have potential? KNOW IN THE 1ST COUPLE OF MINUTES
A. Do you ask for/accept a second date if the first date was neither good nor bad but just OK? USUALLY, JUST TO MAKE SURE – YOU NEVER KNOW IF THEY WERE JUST NERVOUS OR REALLY JUST BORING
15. How many dates do you give someone before you either commit to something long term or decide to walk away? 3-4
16. Please feel free to make any additional comments or observations about online dating (positive or negative). I THINK ONLINE DATING IS MUCH HARDER ON YOUR PSYCHE THAN ‘REGULAR’ DATING – IT SEEMS LIKE A GAME OF NUMBERS FOR SOME & YOU DON’T REALLY KNOW A PERSON’S INTENTIONS AS IT’S EASY FOR THEM TO ‘HIDE’ BEHIND A KEYBOARD AND PROJECT WHAT THEY THINK YOU WANT TO HEAR
FOR CLASSIFICATION PURPOSES: (please answer these as they are very important)
What is your:
Age: 43
Gender: F
Sexual Orientation: STRAIGHT
By: ellensguidetobadinternetdating on October 30, 2010
at 9:41 pm
[...] Single? Please Take Our Survey. Posted by: Shar & Mare | November 8, 2010 [...]
By: It’s A Bigger Industry Than Porn « LifeBytes…Real Stories on November 8, 2010
at 9:57 am
1. Are you on a dating site to find a long-term relationship or are you more interested in just dating casually? LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE
2. Will you contact a profile withOUT a picture? B
A. YES. Email or wink only?
B. NO. What would make you want to contact a profile without a picture?
3. Will you email a person whose picture is attractive but whose write up lacks the substance you prefer?
A. YES.
B. NO.
If you are not sure, does it impact the text of your email? NOT SURE;YES IT WOULD IMPACT TEXT OF EMAIL
4. Do you find that there are often many new profiles listed in your target age range or are they usually the same group of people showing up? SAME GROUP OF PEOPLE
5. How long after initial contact do you want to meet someone? DEPENDS ON THE FREQUENCY OF COMMUNICATIONS BETWEEN THEM AND I OVER TIME: 1 OR 2 RESPONSES OVER THE COURSE OF A MONTH OR TWO – PROBABLY A LONG TIME IF EVER BEFORE MEETING. IF A LOT OF RESPONSES IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME, THEN I’D SAY TWO OR THREE MONTHS. ALSO DEPENDS ON IF OTHER PERSON IS GEOGRAPHICALLY CLOSE TO ME (NOT ACROSS THE COUNTRY)
A. How detailed do you like the emails to get before you talk or meet? THE MORE THE BETTER. RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD BE ABOUT FULL DISCLOSURE YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT THE PERSON. DON’T HOLD BACK.
6. What is a deal breaker in a profile or picture that turns you off immediately? SOMEONE WHO SAYS THEY DON’T WANT KIDS / PICTURES THAT MAKE YOU LOOK MORE LIKE A “WH*$&%#E” INSTEAD OF AN ATTRACTIVE YOUNG WOMAN
A. What captures you immediately? PICTURE: THE FACE – EMAIL: MATURE INTELLECTUAL COMMUNICATION AND USE OF PROPER ENGLISH
7. Do you find the people you meet look like their photo? B
A. YES.
B. NO.
If you had to put it into a percentage (%) – approximately how many of your dates actually look like their photos? 45%
8. How honest do you find people about their profession? FAIRLY HONEST – THOUGH MANY TRY TO MAKE THEIR JOBS SEEM “BIGGER” THAN THEY ARE (TRYING TO IMPRESS THE OTHER)
A. Age? MEN, VERY – WOMEN, NOT SO MUCH
B. Marital Status? ABOUT 50/50
Is there a point when a “Fib” is a lie that is unacceptable? HELL YES!
9. Do you find a lot of “serial” daters online? YES
A. Have you become a “serial” dater? NO
10. When you are scanning profiles, what makes you stop? Just looks? The tag line?
FIRST; LOOKS, THEN IMMEDIATELY GO FOR A WELL WRITTEN (NOT CHILDISH) PROFILE
A. Are you less or more likely to give someone a chance if they sound interesting but are not exactly what you are looking for? YES
11. How important is age? VERY
A. How old is too old or too young? 3-4 YEARS OLDER THAN ME; TOO OLD. 10 YEARS YONGER THAN ME; TOO YOUNG. BUT AT THE SAME TIME, SOMEONE COULD BE MY SAME AGE AND ACT IMMATURE WHICH WOULD BE A BIG TURN-OFF TOO.
B. Will you contact / respond to someone outside your preferred age range if you like their picture or profile? POSSIBLY
12. Are you on multiple sites? (Please list them) NO
A. Have you seen the same people on different sites with different personas? NO
13. Have you ever met someone once and then after some time has passed find you contacted that person again? If yes: NO
A. Did you recognize them and try to give it a 2nd chance?
B. Did you contact them because did not remember you contacted them before?
C. Did you ever meet someone and realize upon meeting that you met them before? Did they recognize you?
D. Did you have the same reaction or type of date as the first time?
14. How long does it take, after meeting someone, for you to decide if they have potential? 6 MONTHS AT LEAST
A. Do you ask for/accept a second date if the first date was neither good nor bad but just OK? YES
15. How many dates do you give someone before you either commit to something long term or decide to walk away? 5-10 FOR LONG TERM; BUT I’VE WALKED AWAY AFTER ONE IN CASES WHERE LONG TERM WAS COMPLETELY OUT OF THE QUESTION BASED ON THEIR ATTITUDE/BEHAVIOR
16. Please feel free to make any additional comments or observations about online dating (positive or negative).
I HAVE COMPLETELY GIVEN UP ON ONLINE DATING. ALL MY EXPERIENCES HAVE BEEN BAD TO MISERABLE. THE WOMEN AREN’T ‘LOOKING’ FOR MEN, BUT WANT MEN TO LOOK FOR THEM. THEY TREAT IT LIKE SOME SORT OF RECREATIONAL GAME WHERE THEY ATTRACT A MAN, TEASE THE HELL OUT OF THEM, GOSSIP ABOUT THEIR PRIVATE INTERACTIONS TO THEIR GIRLFRIENDS AS IF THIS IS ALL SO FUNNY, AND THEN WHEN THE MAN’S USEFULNESS TO THEM IS OVER (MEANING HE DOESN’T CONTINUE TO SPEND AS MUCH MONEY ON THEM FOR DATES, GIFTS, ETC THAN THEY’D LIKE) THEY DROP HIM LIKE A HOT ROCK. NOT MY IDEA OF RELATIONSHIP BUILDING.
IN THE END, IT’S NOT THE WOMAN’S APPROVAL YOU NEED TO GET IN ORDER FOR HER TO STAY WITH YOU THE REST OF YOUR LIVES…..YOU NEED TO WIN THE APPROVAL OF HER PARENTS, ALL HER FRIENDS, ANYONE SHE TELLS ABOUT YOU, OR WHAT EVER. SHE MIGHT LIKE YOU, BUT IF HER ‘FRIENDS’ DON’T, THEY MAKE LIFE HELL FOR HER AND DRIVE HER AWAY FROM YOU.
NOT WHAT I BARGAINED FOR EITHER.
By: Dave on December 15, 2010
at 10:41 am
1. Are you on a dating site to find a long-term relationship or are you more interested in just dating casually? Long term
2. Will you contact a profile withOUT a picture?
B. NO. What would make you want to contact a profile without a picture?
3. Will you email a person whose picture is attractive but whose write up lacks the substance you prefer?
A. YES.
4. Do you find that there are often many new profiles listed in your target age range or are they usually the same group of people showing up?
Primarily the same group
5. How long after initial contact do you want to meet someone?
within a few days, up to a week
A. How detailed do you like the emails to get before you talk or meet?
I prefer 3-5 emails, then a phone call
6. What is a deal breaker in a profile or picture that turns you off immediately?
Mirror pics, including pics of children, all pics that they took themselves
Bad grammar or spelling
A. What captures you immediately?
Someone that seems to have substance and is tall and good looking
7. Do you find the people you meet look like their photo?
A. YES.
If you had to put it into a percentage (%) – approximately how many of your dates actually look like their photos?
95%
8. How honest do you find people about their profession? yes
A. Age? yes
B. Marital Status? every guy that I have met has been as far as I know, I have been contacted though by many guys that say they are single in their profile but fess up to being married in the first email. Actually I did date a guy that was still married so she could stay on his health insurance.
Is there a point when a “Fib” is a lie that is unacceptable? No fib is acceptable. Why lie?
9. Do you find a lot of “serial” daters online? no
A. Have you become a “serial” dater? no
10. When you are scanning profiles, what makes you stop? Just looks? The tag line? both
A. Are you less or more likely to give someone a chance if they sound interesting but are not exactly what you are looking for? yes
11. How important is age? not very
A. How old is too old or too young? I’m 37 and my range is pretty big 25-50
B. Will you contact / respond to someone outside your preferred age range if you like their picture or profile? no
12. Are you on multiple sites? (Please list them) yes – eharmony, okcupid and pof
A. Have you seen the same people on different sites with different personas? yes to them being on different sites, but they seem like the same persona
13. Have you ever met someone once and then after some time has passed find you contacted that person again? yes If yes:
A. Did you recognize them and try to give it a 2nd chance? I have recognized them but I do not give second chances
B. Did you contact them because did not remember you contacted them before? yes I have done this
C. Did you ever meet someone and realize upon meeting that you met them before? Did they recognize you? yes, this happened. He did not recognize me and I pretended that I wasn’t the person he was looking for and got out of there!
D. Did you have the same reaction or type of date as the first time?
14. How long does it take, after meeting someone, for you to decide if they have potential? 3-4 dates
A. Do you ask for/accept a second date if the first date was neither good nor bad but just OK? no
15. How many dates do you give someone before you either commit to something long term or decide to walk away? 2 months or so
16. Please feel free to make any additional comments or observations about online dating (positive or negative).
FOR CLASSIFICATION PURPOSES: (please answer these as they are very important)
What is your:
Age: 37
Gender: female
Sexual Orientation: straight
By: @Dating_wo_a_Net on March 12, 2012
at 8:59 am
1. Are you on a dating site to find a long-term relationship or are you more interested in just dating casually? Either.
2. Will you contact a profile withOUT a picture? Yes
A. YES. Email or wink only?
B. NO. What would make you want to contact a profile without a picture?
An interesting profile
3. Will you email a person whose picture is attractive but whose write up lacks the substance you prefer?
A. YES.
B. NO. No
If you are not sure, does it impact the text of your email?
4. Do you find that there are often many new profiles listed in your target age range or are they usually the same group of people showing up? Same old, same old.
5. How long after initial contact do you want to meet someone? Varies
A. How detailed do you like the emails to get before you talk or meet? Like a good rapport. Prefer talking before meeting.
6. What is a deal breaker in a profile or picture that turns you off immediately? Pics with flash cars, motorbikes. Talking about all the clever things he does/has done.
A. What captures you immediately? Subtle humour.
7. Do you find the people you meet look like their photo?
A. YES.
B. NO. No – only one looked about same. all the others looked older.
If you had to put it into a percentage (%) – approximately how many of your dates actually look like their photos? 10%
8. How honest do you find people about their profession? Honest
A. Age? Honest So far as I know
B. Marital Status? As far as I know. suspicuious about one.
Is there a point when a “Fib” is a lie that is unacceptable? Yes
9. Do you find a lot of “serial” daters online? Don’t know
A. Have you become a “serial” dater? No
10. When you are scanning profiles, what makes you stop? Just looks? The tag line? Looks but charcater rather than ‘good looks’
A. Are you less or more likely to give someone a chance if they sound interesting but are not exactly what you are looking for? More likely
11. How important is age? Fairly
A. How old is too old or too young? 5 years younger and up to 10 yrs older
B. Will you contact / respond to someone outside your preferred age range if you like their picture or profile? Maybe
12. Are you on multiple sites? (Please list them) Have been
A. Have you seen the same people on different sites with different personas? Same personas and pics
13. Have you ever met someone once and then after some time has passed find you contacted that person again? If yes: No
A. Did you recognize them and try to give it a 2nd chance?
B. Did you contact them because did not remember you contacted them before?
C. Did you ever meet someone and realize upon meeting that you met them before? Did they recognize you?
D. Did you have the same reaction or type of date as the first time?
14. How long does it take, after meeting someone, for you to decide if they have potential? 3 minutes!
A. Do you ask for/accept a second date if the first date was neither good nor bad but just OK? No – no point
15. How many dates do you give someone before you either commit to something long term or decide to walk away? Haven’t been given the opportunity!
16. Please feel free to make any additional comments or observations about online dating (positive or negative). Lots of guys in my age group (50s) want younger women 30/40s
FOR CLASSIFICATION PURPOSES: (please answer these as they are very important)
What is your:
Age: 57
Gender: F
Sexual Orientation: Straight
By: Lindsay on April 19, 2012
at 10:33 am