Posted by: Shar & Mare | June 7, 2009

On Kissing Toads

When I think about online dating I’m reminded of that old phrase, “You’ve got to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince charming.” Most of us heard that from our mothers, who heard it from their mothers, who heard it from…you get the picture. I really can’t think of a more perfect phrase for online dating though. Let’s face it, the internet has got to be the biggest lily pond in the world. I’ve spent quite some time splashing around in it too and I met my share of toads. There was, Twitchy Eye Guy, Bad Poetry Guy, He’s Dated All My Friends And Now He’s Contacting Me Guy and many more (details on these gems to follow in future posts). You really need a well developed sense of humor to manage hopping from stone to stone without falling into the icky pond water. And, if you’re patient too, you really can find a prince, or at least a really nice guy who has a dog named prince.

A while back I was about to take a hiatus from the online thing. I need to do this once in a while, when I feel like I’m losing my sense of humor. As I discovered early on in order to date online one must have a sense of humor about the whole venture. If you don’t it just becomes sad and frustrating, leading you to prefer spending Saturday nights alone with a gallon of Ben & Jerry’s Triple Caramel Chunk ice cream.

I had, just prior to this, been contacted by someone who sounded promising in the emails we shared. No apparent bad habits from what I could gather. Of course it’s almost impossible to tell from an email if someone is a compulsive nose picker or has some other anti-social habit. So, it’s important to meet at some point. Problem was this person, who shall forever be known as I’ll Rest When I’m Dead Guy, never seemed to have time to spare. For Pete’s sake, there’s a Starbuck’s on every corner in the U.S., how hard can it be to find a half an hour to spend in one? We finally agreed to get together on a particular Sunday. Luckily I called his cell that morning to confirm. He was 40 miles away at a craft fair with a group of friends.

“Gee, this came up at the last minute. Don’t think I’ll be able to get back in time. Can we try for one night this week?” He actually sounded confused, as if he had no recollection of making this date with me the day before. My hankering for a Sunday afternoon Latte went flying out the window, along with my sense of humor.

“Sure,” I said. “I’ll call you this week.” I never did. He, however, did manage to email me later in the week. It went unanswered. If you can’t chuckle about the wackos you meet online, it’s time for a break.

How about you, dear readers? Have you kissed some memorable toads, or narrowly avoided having to kiss them? Is your sense of humor still intact? Should I buy you a pint of Ben & Jerry’s?

Til next time,



  1. Oh god have I kissed some toads! Starbucks mouth, cigarette mouth, bad breath something really wrong guy! I also hate guys that claim to be one thing and are totally another. Showing a buff picture and showing up 100lbs overweight and sweaty!!!Come on you think I wouldn’t notice? I actually enjoy Mercy dates because the poor fellow is usually real nice just shy or something not quite right. Usually they know how to treat a woman and with them if you like one girls you will have to make the first move! That gives you lots of control :}

  2. and sometimes those nice/shy guys turn out to be the Prince Charmings too..:)

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