Posted by: Shar & Mare | August 7, 2009

Vocabulary Lessons

You learn things dating online. Things like new words...SAT Words even. Take for example the word: Tacit, meaning: understood without being openly expressed; implied. There’s a tacit agreement that often happens when meeting an online connection. You email, you talk, you set up a date, you meet. Shortly into the date you both realize that you’ll never again see or speak to one another and, at the end of the evening you part company and move on with your lives without a word being spoken about, ‘Gosh, this was swell…but’. Tacit Agreement.

How do we know that one or both of us just aren’t feelin’ the love? Are we psychic on some level? If we were I know I’d be out buying lottery tickets after every date!..LOL. I think it’s more a case of becoming highly skilled at reading the verbal cues and body language.

I had a date this week with a man who had contacted me a few days previous. He was local to me, loved to bake, cookies, cakes, pies, you name it. Forget the flowers, a date who could bring me warm oatmeal-raisin cookies just might be a keeper. Bakerman and I talked on the phone and it was a great conversation. We talked about our lives, families, jobs, a really pleasant talk. We made plans to meet and I was very excited about this as the conversation had been so free-flowing and easy with none of the usual first phone call hesitancy.

Our date lasted for a little over an hour.

I had an odd feeling when I first got to the pub where we’d agreed to meet for a drink. Why? I’m psychic, remember?? LOL, no – there was a guarded look that danced across his eyes, subtle to anyone but a veteran of the online dance. We sat at the bar for a drink and a pizza (this pub had a wood burning pizza oven behind the bar, so you could watch the cook work on your meal). Bakerman wasn’t quite as chatty as he’d been on the phone and he was subtly yet definitely avoiding looking me in the eye when he spoke.

I knew five minutes into the date that he had decided immediately upon meeting me that I wasn’t his cup of tea. This was fine with me because, although I found him pleasant and would have accepted a second date (I don’t make snap decisions about men), there really were no sparks. When I mentioned one of my hobbies his words made it clear that he was only listening to me out of politeness, he seemed much more interested in watching the pizza man work than he was in paying attention to our conversation. He would also, almost imperceptibly, lean away from me whenever I spoke. It was a relief to finally get to my car so I could be moving on to the next potential date.

“Have a safe trip home,” were Bakerman’s parting words to me.

“You too,” I said.

I knew that I wouldn’t hear from him again and that he didn’t expect to hear from me. But this time, I decided to handle things differently. I’m not sure why, maybe I’ve been doing this for too long and I’m just bored with the status quo. Maybe it’s because the word Tacit is just boring and dumb. Whatever the case, I decided to use yet another new SAT word, Veracious, meaning: characterized by truthfulness; true, accurate, or honest in content. I emailed.

Dear Bakerman,
Thank you for the pizza and conversation but I sensed that there was no connection for us. I wish you the best of luck in your search.

I felt satisfied after this, as if I’d just enjoyed a big piece of home-baked peach cobbler, contented and ready for a new date. I will now be always…veracious to a fault.




  1. what a great information..
    thanks for the share..

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