Posted by: Shar & Mare | October 26, 2009

Relationship Marketing, Part 2

Reading through profile after profile after profile just makes my eyes glaze over. The last time in my life that I can remember this happening to me on a regular basis was in my college Organic Chemistry class. I find myself skimming at times trying to find the key words that spark my fancy. Then, I feel guilty. He probably spent hours writing about his lovable dateability and here I am speed reading through his profile to see if he added the words Theater, Art, NYC or “loves to cuddle”. And how many men are skimming my profile looking for their must-have key words? Many, I’m sure.

So here’s the Marketing challenge. How do you distill your wonderful self down to approximately 2000 words? Words that will jump off the page and make the reader say, “Now THIS person is one in a million”.

Good advertising copy (sorry to sound unromantic, but that IS what a dating profile is) has a few elements that are important to remember when you’re crafting that profile. First, you have to stand out in the crowd. Look, here’s what ad pros know: most products in your particular industry are fairly similar. It’s true, most cell phones (or frozen dinners, or razors or… you get the idea) are almost identical in that they offer the same features, comparable rates, etc. The copywriter’s job is to make their client’s product sound like the must have item of the day, and they do this by starting with market research. They find out what the other guys are saying about their products first, so they can then make THEIR product sound just that much better. So what you need to do, dear dater, is to read profiles of people of your gender, in your age range. Yes, I know, sounds sort of weird. But when you realize that everybody feels comfortable in both black tie and jeans you realize that, in order to stand out from the crowd you have to come up with something more original. Like prefer to hang out in sweat pants most days, but can clean up good for a fancy night out on occasion, if that is indeed who you are.

So, now that you know what all the other products on the site are advertising, it’s time to get your outline written. Make a list. List all the things about YOU that will paint a picture of your adorable self. Not easy…challenging..but, if done well, will help to reel in your soul mate and probably put your therapist out of business because you now know yourself so well.

Now you get to put all these brilliant key words into sentences. Not a writer? Try this: get a voice recorder and record yourself talking about who you are and who you’re looking for – using your list of traits and key words, of course. Then, it’s just a matter of transposing this into writing and polishing it up a bit. Try it, it works, and in the end what you’ve written will really sound like you.

One more bit of advice here. Be honest. I know, I know…that cute chick who says she’s looking for a skier. It’s tempting to toss something about skiing into you profile in hopes of catching her eye. But, if you’re not a skier, she WILL find out when you break a limb on your first ski date with her. So stick to the words and phrases that are really and truly you, in your own voice. In the end you’ll attract those folks who see you for the wonderful, adorable, must have date of the year that you are.



  1. Online dating has an array of positives, like being able to get to know the person better before even meeting them. this gives it an edge over other forms of dating.

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