Posted by: Shar & Mare | November 9, 2009

Decisions, Decisions

I have been off of dating online for about a month now. Why? I’m too busy….working on a book about adventures in online dating. Oh, the irony. O. Henry would be so proud of me. But, I am not entirely idle on that score. I’m planning to get back on the merry-go-round in the next few weeks, just not sure what site to try. I’ve had luck on I had a wonderful 2 1/2 year relationship that started with a typical Match date. I think that I’d like to test some other waters this time though. So, to that end, I am doing some research into other sites. There are SO many of them out there!! You can find sites for Catholics, Jews, Liberals, Conservatives, Born-Again Christians, Jocks (yes, really,, straights, gays, swingers, under 30s, over 30s and the “hard to remember my age anymore” group. The cost for these sites varies wildly, from free to a fee that’s roughly the equivalent of a medium sized mortgage payment. There seems to be a dating site for every lifestyle and preference out there. I have yet to find my ultimate site though: When I do though, I am so THERE baby!

I’ve decided to start by checking out the free sites. Well, let me re-phrase, my WALLET has kindly made this decision for me…such a considerate inanimate object. A while back I’d actually started an account with, but never really explored the site and they never sent me those annoying “Someone Special Is Waiting For You” emails either so I’d completely forgotten about it. I just logged on earlier today to finally plunge into the site, which I think is owned by, only to find that it’s now called…hmmmm. Apparently you can find People – Places – Parties here. Not sure if it’s a dating site or a networking site.

I am not going to start an account here, although it apparently is free. Sorry, you kids will have to check the site out and report back to me about it. …..Hehehe, just read what I typed…Am I getting OLD? Why am I not burning with curiosity about this night-life toutin’, friend findin’, hot-spot spottin’ web site? Could it be that the people pictured on the home page look like they’re my sons age???? Could it be??!! Not for me, I’m so not a Cougar. By the way, I hate that word “cougar”. A woman who dates someone younger is a Cougar and a man who dates someone younger is a… what is that word they use?…Oh, yeah..a MAN. OK, OK, I will not go off on a total feminist tangent…but – really.

I think what it finally boils down to is that I want to find a relationship, a good, healthy, lasting relationship and I don’t think a site with a title like STIR is the place for that. So, this week I’m going to see what is all about. Yes, the title “Plenty of Fish” sounds as if it’s a haven for serial-daters, but I have a girlfriend who’s met some guys there and a male friend who’s met someone he’s truly crazy about. On the other hand Mares tells me that everyone there is creepy and/or married. I think I’ll just have to do the research myself here.

Have any of you been on plentyoffish? Any luck? Any sites to recommend? My detective hat is on, pad and pencil in hand.



  1. Plenty of fish is not bad. Just got on it. You have to work it though. If you are on it, you’ll get mail… I’ve met two pretty good guys, the guys don’t seem to be as age picky… figured it out now, find the guys with kids who are divorced. (that’s me anyway, I dont want any more kids)… they don’t want any more kids and generally are apt to date older chicks. Not sure how old you are, but you mentioned the cougar thing (aghhh) so I imagine you are not twenty something. They all lie about their age, of course, as I do, which I hate, but at least it gets you a date… ha, the guy almost fell off the couch last night when I told him I was 46. It was hysterical, but clearly he was not leaving.

    Thats all, have fun. Its nice not to have to pay for a bunch of male from a bunch of losers…

    I will book mark you and follow your adventures. Feel free to check me out too.

    The most recent post is a Plenty of Fish date… hehe.

    • I will definitely check out your blog. It sounds like something I’ll enjoy reading! Isn’t it funny about age…we women have a tendency to shave off a year or two (probably because there are so many misguided men out there who think that they MUST have someone younger on their arm..LOL). Of course the guys tend to add at least two inches to their height online. So I guess it all evens out in the end.

  2. Yes, I’ve had a hard time with online dating and have tried the cougar thing. Not for me. I much prefer dating men that are as close to my age as possible.

    I would so love for you to read my book. I’m not saying this to be all self-promoting (though, of course, I am promoting my book, so that’s just an added benefit. 😉 ) Anyway, the book is about finding love after divorce. I tried online dating, speed dating, meetups, etc… Nothing was working. So the book was meant to be a year-long experiment in trying to figure out the magic formula for falling in love (with someone that would fall in love with me, too, of course!)

    The book is still in the early stages, but I would love to have you read it and give me your honest feedback. It’s called “The Laptop Dancer Diaries — A Mostly True Story About Finding Love Again.” I have a FaceBook Fan. Look for “The Laptop Dancer Diaries” and join. And if you think you might be willing to read an early copy and give me a critique, please let me know! I submitted a story for LifeBytes so I’ll contact you via email as well.

    • Hi Yvette. I’ll check out your email just as soon as the dust of my weekly schedule dies down. No promises about being able to read the book but I will give it a shot. Thanks for stopping by here!

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