Posted by: Shar & Mare | March 2, 2010


I was contacted by someone on (I hate the name of that site…it sounds so smarmy — Plenty Of Fish, please change your name 🙂 ) early last week. He just wrote a short little note asking me to take a look at his profile and to email if I had any interest. I read. I was interested.

I like sincere profiles that say something about the inner person, not just what he’s accomplished or owns or what his hobbies are and this profile was just as sincere as could be. So I emailed back with my cell number and email address. He called the next day. Wow.

We had one of those easy conversations that didn’t sound like the typical online dating “interview”. We laughed a lot too…always a big plus for me. He was a divorced dad, adored his kids, liked to work out, go hiking and Scuba diving. I don’t dive but my dad used to so I was at least able to converse intelligently on that subject. Diver Dan and I decided to make plans to meet the next weekend, when he was sans-children.

I always get a little stage fright when I walk into a coffee shop or bar and this night was no exception. I was a little jittery as I stood in the local pub where we’d decided to meet. My back was turned when Diver Dan tapped me on the shoulder, I turned….looked….smiled…nice looking guy….warm eyes….great smile…stage fright gone. It was one of those first meetings that didn’t really feel like a first meeting – it was just easy and comfortable. We shared a great conversation, had a drink and some pizza. At one point in the evening we played darts and then we talked some more.

I am usually more likely than not to accept a second date with an online match. I really believe that it takes more than a phone call and a quick meeting to see if there’s any possibility of chemistry and this time was no exception. I was truly anticipating a possible second date. I was pretty sure he was too…he made a paper rose for me out of a cocktail napkin (don’t laugh…I thought it was cute!) It had been snowing that day and when we left the pub he cleaned my car off for me. Chivalry, you gotta love it.

Now, the other thing that I’ve gotten into the habit of doing is to call or email a date the next day to let them know either A) I had a lovely time, but I didn’t think we were compatible, or B) I had a REALLY lovely time and would be open to seeing him again. Diver Dan was a “B”. I called and left a message on his cell. He never called back…HUH???

Why? Who knows. Maybe I wasn’t tall enough for him, or maybe he really, really wanted to meet a fellow scuba diver. Maybe he met someone else the next day and decided that she was more to his liking. Maybe I threw my darts in a dorky way. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe….as the book says: He Was Just Not That Into Me.

This is one of the more challenging aspects of online dating. You really do have to develop a thick skin, particularly since there seems to be no discernable type of etiquette to dating online. It’s probably why I make it a point to offer a verdict after a first date….just my way of rebelling against the status quo of non-response…hey, it’s how I roll, rebel that I am…LOL. But my way is apparently not the way of the overall dating community so I just move on, no tears, no wondering, just movin’ on. And anyway I found this adorable guy on, cute, sincere, meaningful profile…I’ll email and then…..




  1. Honestly the internet is changing rapidly. With new technology there are new avenues even for online dating. Have you thought about trying video dating? Once you see a person, all of there bio, stats, and updates go through the door. Here are a few sites that support videos:

    social networking: Facebook (yes, people use facebook for dates)

    Dating: site seems down

  2. Interesting…I will check these out. Who knows, we may soon be able to date via holograms. This would surely beat out having to drive Lord knows how long to meet someone in person….LOL

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