The men I date tend to be anywhere from two to five years older than I am. I heard on the news the other day that in the best, most successful relationships, the man is five years older than the woman and the woman is 27% smarter than the man. I’m pretty smart so according to whatever study came up with the above statistics (including the peculiar 27%) I should be on the right track…which is sort of starting to scare me.
I’m not old, I’m not in my twenties anymore but I don’t have a foot in the grave either, however, the men I’ve been meeting lately are starting to seem REALLY, REALLY old even though the are in the requisite five year range. It’s little things, like waaay more gray hair in person than in the profile pix. Sometimes it’s the extra crows feet and jiggly chin wattles. I met a man for coffee last week, “Mike-The-Cop”, nice man …really…but….he kept forgetting what I’d said to him over the phone the day before. Once he even forgot that I had a son in his twenties….whom I’d been telling him about not ten minutes before. Am I getting that old? I can still recall what I talked about ten minutes ago. That’s a good sign, right?
A degenerating ability to hear correctly is another frightening trend. I was on the phone with another match, “Harry”, making plans to meet for drinks and possibly dinner. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Why don’t we meet at Winberries in Ridgewood? The bar area’s comfortable and if we decide to stay the food is really good.
Harry: OK. I know where Ridgewood is. It’s Wunneries?
Me: No, Winberries.
Harry: Huh? What? WINEries?
Me: No, WinBERRIES…like a strawBERRY? W – I – N -B – E – R – R – I – E – S.
Harry: Oh. Uh. Whinnies?
Me: No…W…as in wind.
Me: Yes. I – N -B – E – R – R – I – E – S.
Harry: W – A – N -E – E – R -I – E – S.
Me: No …HARRY…listen. ( I speak slowly and deliberately, while suppressing the urge to scream) W – I – N -B – E – R – R – I – E – S.
Harry: W – I – N -B – E – R – R – I – E – S. OH…WINberries!
Harry: OK, now what’s the address.
I will spare you the rest of the conversation.
Perhaps I should start dating younger men. Let’s see, if the man is five years YOUNGER and the woman is, let’s say 46.5% smarter than he is, will that be a statistically good match? I don’t know..but let’s have some fun with this. Please take the following poll to help me decide. Results will be published in an upcoming post.