I was driving past an assisted living facility on my way to work and it brought to mind a man I met a while back in my online dating travels….NO…I know what you’re thinking but NO. He didn’t need assisted living, he actually owned a company that ran assisted living groups. We’d met through an online site and after a few emails decided to meet for dinner. He was very well-off. I suspected, from the conversation, that he was more than well off…I’m pretty sure he was rolling in cash. Funny thing is, if he didn’t mention what his company did, I never would have taken him for having boatloads of Benjamins. He was soft-spoken, not shy but there was something very calm and centered about him. I liked this, brashness and bravado have always raised the “ick” factor for me. “Ick” being that feeling of being stuck in a pile of smarmy, dirty goop; the goop being your obnoxious date. No, Mr. CareBear was a very kind person. Which made perfect sense for a man whose life calling was caring for the elderly.
We only had one date. One of those times when, although you’ve had an enjoyable evening, by the end of the night you’ve seen the red flags and they’re just flying a little too high for comfort. This night there was only one red flag and for me it was a big one. You see he’d neglected to mention that he was not quite divorced yet, separated…but not divorced. Now, if you’ve read my posts in the past you’ll know that I prefer my matches to be completely free to date, legally, mentally and emotionally; and those guys who are “not quite” divorced yet are none of those three things. Mr. CareBear was no exception. Besides having “likeherhateherlikeherhateher” feelings about his ex, he was letting his almost grown kids walk all over him financially. He told me that the credit cards (in his name) that he gave to his teenagers (YES…teenagers + credit cards – WHAT was he thinking?) were almost maxed out at about 8 thousand each. Did I hear that correctly? I asked him to repeat it, he did – my hearing was fine. When I asked him what he’d done about it he said he’d taken them out to a very nice restaurant last night and told them that they shouldn’t spend so much money. Did he take the cards away from them, I wondered? NO…SIGH…as a single parent who can squeeze blood from a penny, this was literally making my heart race at a speed that threatened to break the sound barrier. I thanked Mr. CareBear for a lovely evening, told him that I didn’t think we were a match, gave him a kiss on the cheek (some things about him were very sweet), went home and clipped coupons for the rest of the night.