Posted by: Shar & Mare | August 9, 2010

Up In The Air – The Dating Inhibitor

Traveling for work is typically not glamorous. You spend hours in airports and too many nights in beds that are not comfortable. Taking a tour consists of taking a whirl around a factory or production line and not around a beautiful city or museum.

Since I am in sales, I travel a lot for my job. I am constantly in my car or in a plane and days and weeks can pass before I realize it.

When I am on the road, that means I am not at home taking care of personal things, or in the city watching theater, attending social functions or going on dates. So, traveling is definitely an inhibitor in meeting people. And, if I am in a relationship, it sucks the spontaneity out of it. Everything has to be scheduled, and many times … weeks in advance. And, when you are not around locally, even to do the little things like hitting the mall after work or meeting for an impromptu sushi meal …. well, it can stall a relationship and certainly does not encourage the bonding and getting to know each other that comes when people are more accessible.

This can hurt a relationship. In a way, it can really tell a lot about a guy in how he handles my travel schedule. If he gets all pouty and whines about how it takes away from time with him, then I wonder how he will handle other situations. I would rather a man I am dating understand that my job has time and travel demands but knows that I will make time for him and the relationship. And, sometimes, it forces us both to be creative in staying connected and making sure that when we are together, it is special. Dealing with constraints and making the best of it is far more attractive than a man who plays the victim because I have to be in TX for 3 days in meetings and can’t meet him for a cocktail after work.

Even when one is not traveling, some jobs just have a level of responsibility that demands a large portion of their day, even beyond the 8-9 hours we are obligated to give our employers.

Finding that balance is the key element of a successful relationship.

We certainly cannot let work control us or take over our lives so completely that we have no personal life. I personally am very prone to letting that happen. We must reclaim our time for ourselves, family, loved ones and hobbies. It is critical to a successful relationship and a healthy & balanced life. I have to remind myself of that as I don’t want to get so swallowed up into Corporate America that I find myself at 65 alone and with a crappy 401K plan.

Whether we are stuck in our offices, up in the air or in the car … work is work and we must have a balanced life that includes not only work but friends, fun, adventures, family and development of our other interests.

I have some work in front of me in taking my own advice ….

What is your opinion of finding balance between work, travel and your personal life?



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