Posted by: Shar & Mare | October 4, 2010

Dear Diary – Where are ALL the Normal Men?

Dear Diary,

Where have all the good men gone? Where are all the normal guys? Why is it so hard for guys to write just ONE email that has complete sentences with punctuation and no abbreviations?

I know I am asking but not expecting to get any answers back. I had taken a hiatus from dating for a while. I was busy at work and then wanted to spend some time on me … just me … my health … my exercise … my fashion … my writing. When that was in balance, I decided to venture back into the world of online dating.

I clicked on several profiles and cast a wide and accepting net.

I am not quite sure why guys who I email respond and tell me, “Thanks. But, I just met someone and we are dating and I am giving that a shot.” And, then … everytime I am on line I see they are constantly on line which makes me think they were lying and I would have rathered they not even email me with such an excuse.

One guy seemed cute, but he did not smile in his profile pic. And, the story in his profile told why. He went to the wake of the mother of a friend of his only to find himself at the wrong wake. And when he was on the receiving line realized it just as the daughter of the person who passed hugged him and said, “tell me what you remember about her?” He said (about this stranger no less) … “how beautiful she was.” The mourner teared and the guy left. On his way out, he took a pic of himself. Really? That’s when you say to your self … gee, maybe I should take a pic of myself now coming out of a wrong wake … and then post it on a dating site. Really?!?! Really?!!? Just askin ….

Then, this same person emails me and each email maxes out at 5 abbreviated words. He wants to talk. If his conversations are anything like his email, it will last all of a minute. Yes, some guys are not great with email. But an email with an “X X” in the subject line with the text of the email that says, “how are you?” Really?!?! That’s all he could muster? Just askin ….

One guy, Gomez, told me I was beautiful and that he knew he would marry me as soon as he saw my pic. Ugh – oh … he sure was wrong on that one. DELETE.

And why when you ask a man who has children to tell you a little about himself, he turns it into an itinerary about his children’s sports and school schedule? That is about them. I want to know about YOU. Is this too much to ask? Apparently, in many cases, it is.

Not a fan of Brittany Spears … but this seemed fitting:

I am sorry for complaining diary. I am always hopeful and feel the numbers are on my side and that if I just have patience, I will meet someone. Well, that patience pond is dry and I am really starting to lose faith that there are nice normal guys who just want to meet a nice girl.

Why did it seem so much easier in our parents time to meet someone who knew how to treat a woman and was not afraid of committment?

When did our society become so dysfunctional? I am not sure who to blame. Maybe we all share that …. but really Diary, I wish you could speak and tell me where all the normal men are?

If anyone knows, please email me.



  1. I wish I could answer your question (to help you AND myself)! I dated a guy for a few months who never used punctuation or even complete words in his texts – drove me nuts! And so many guys on those dating sites freak me out… And way too many guys I meet in bars are just looking to get to know you for one night only!

    What are us single, intelligent, pretty, and lovely ladies to do?


    • It’s frustrating isn’t it? But the “good guys” are out there. We just have to find them. That’s why we love being able to share our dating and relationship stories…helps us keep smiling and positive til Mr. Awesome comes along!

  2. I ask myself this same question and I really have gotten very discouraged with online dating. I am a single mom in my 40’s who got divorced a year ago and tried online dating for the first time. I am trying desperately to be patient………Unfortunately, I have had the experience of meeting 2 men who were not honest and were pathological liars and players so I am very skeptical now and very guarded…..Maybe that is a good thing……The internet is so easy for men to pretend they are someone that they are not…..

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