Posted by: Shar & Mare | December 1, 2010

Q & A Day: Little White Age Lies and Hotel Rooms

Q & A WednesdayQUESTION:
Met this girl online. She is really cute and very nice. Online she was 33. I am 32. I just learned she is 37. I hate a liar but I know girls lie about their age… but 5 years?? I don’t know what to do. I like her but hate she lied by 5 years.

If you knew this girl was 37 from the beginning would you have given her a chance? That is the key question. I don’t condone lying and I can understand shaving a couple of years from one’s online age, but 5 years is substantial especially if you are looking to start a family with this person. But, sometimes we look at the number too closely and not the person, character or chemistry we could have with that person. We could miss out on the love of our life because they fell outside some idea we have on an age parameter. Some of the strongest marriages and relationships I know have 10-20 years between partners. Also, for privacy protection, it is recommended that people do not give the exact date or year they were born because if their account is hacked, it will be easier to have their identity stolen. So, I can understand some people changing some information slightly.

Also, how long were you dating before she told you? If it was a year, well that is unacceptable. But, if you were only dating for a couple of months and she came clean, then I think you should give her a chance. If you are attracted to her, find her fun and interesting and loving and you both get along ,then do you realize how lucky you are to have met someone where so many elements of chemistry have fallen into place? Are you going to let a few extra years between the 2 of you keep you from being with the one you love? Now, if you had a laundrey list of items she lied about, then that means she is a chronic liar and you don’t need that in your life and you should move on. To quote Cher from Moonstruck, “Get Over It.”


Five years huh? Not that much really. Definitely not enough to be considered a Cougar (that’s eight years minimum). Many men (not necessarily you…but, you know, those other guys 😉 won’t look at a woman’s profile unless she’s at least 10 years younger than they are. There is no comparable Cougar-like term for men like this…pisses me off…just sayin’. Why do they do this? Apparently they don’t look in mirrors often and truly believe that they can wear a Speedo and get away with it. This is what women have to deal with online. So she’s either A. Trying to knock some sense into the idiots online or B. Just a raving, insane liar. Find out if she lies about everything. If she does run (don’t walk) away. If not it’s B and you should be glad to have found great chemistry with her.

One man I met on line lives about 500 miles away. He is flying in for the weekend and told me what hotel he was staying in and said he would text me his room number and suggested I go to his room to meet him and then we can go out from there. All signs indicate that he is nice, but I just feel uncomfortable going to his room first. Should I just agree or insist he meet me in the lobby.

These are the rules: if you feel uncomfortable – don’t do it. If you feel comfortable – do it. He’s visiting YOU. This means that as the host of the weekend, you are in the driver’s seat. I take it you’ve emailed and talked on the phone? (I hope so, even I’m not nutty enough to meet someone just on a headshot alone!) So meet him in the lobby. Have a drink. Have dinner. Have sex at your own risk…you don’t KNOW him that well. If he insists on meeting you in his room then I think you should send your football-player cousin “Bubba” up to meet him. Hide in the hall and you may get the best laughs of your life!!! Please send me pictures if you do.

You sound like you are afraid to offend him. You should look at this from the perspective of … is what he is proposing offensive to you? I am just glad that Sharon is not giving you some advice that entails ways to disrobe. In this case, I agree with her. You are a grown woman and you should only do what you feel comfortable with and if that means meeting your date in the lobby, then he should respect your wishes and be a gentleman and honor your caution. If he does not and is insistent then do not meet him and move away and on as quickly as possible. Good Luck.



  1. […] age I am does not match with the age I feel, the age I look, the age I act or the age I admit to on the internet. There, I said it. That is 5 ages that are hard to keep track of. Of course, I feel young, look […]

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