Posted by: Shar & Mare | January 5, 2011

Q & A: A Slutty Frenemy…Oh My!

Well HE'S happy...but, are YOU?Question
I met a nice guy on line. We had a great first date. I was telling my girlfriend only to discover that she is now corresponding with him. I told her … but she seems set on meeting him. I feel weird. I don’t what to do. I am a little pissed at my friend for not considering my feelings.

Newsflash: This chick is NOT your friend. And, in case I was not clear, this girl is no friend to you. How inconsiderate. Lose the friend. Let the guy know what is going on. He will have to choose and make a decision. If he chooses you — great! If you chooses her – good riddance. They both deserve each other. Move on and find a guy AND a friend who deserves you.

I met a guy once, pre-online dating days, at a social group I belong to. We really connected and had great chemistry. One night after a group meeting Hottie and I went out for a quick drink. We got to the pub and right behind us was a “friend” of mine from the group, who apparently had the hots for Hottie….she wedged herself between us and flirted her slutty ass off all night. By the time we left, I was plotting revenge. Perhaps I should let the air out of her tires? Douse her food with neuro-toxins?

Turned out I didn’t have to. Hottie waited by my car with me til Slut Girl left and then he asked me out…YAY. And…BONUS….she was driving past us as he leaned over and kissed me! Every dog has it’s day and every false friend will eventually have to watch you make out with Hottie. I say ditch the Bitch….she’s not a friend.



  1. You’re answering about the friend because the question was about the friend but I do think it’s important to mention that what the guy is doing isn’t exactly lovely either. He’s in touch with another girl while already dating someone else.

    Some people think this is OK but if you are the type of person who wouldn’t do it, you need to decide if you want to be with someone who does.

    Also, the questioner didn’t mention if it’s 100% clear there is going to be a 2nd date. Did you agree, in words, that you’re meeting again? Because maybe the date isn’t even interested in a second date with her and is moving on. In that case, there is the issue that he didn’t actually tell her he’s moving on but it also takes away from the issue with the friend. Because seriously, you went on one date. If he isn’t interested in another one, no big deal for him to go out with your friend (even if it was a great first date).

    My 3 cents.

  2. Good points Deena! The questioner is dating online and, generally speaking, it’s not uncommon for someone to continue to use the dating site even when they’ve had one or two dates with a new match. So, it would be reasonable to assume that the friend is emailing with this guy. The sticky part here is…her “friend” is well-aware of her interest in “Mr. Online” and would probably be a better friend if she let the new dating situation resolve itself into a Yes, we’re dating or No, we’re not that into each other – on it’s own.

    Now…the question of when do you take your profile off-line when you’ve met someone new and think it will become long-term will be answered in a future post. Stay tuned!

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