Posted by: Shar & Mare | January 26, 2011

Q & A: Is Bald Beautiful?


Question
I answered an ad on line and the guys profile was great. Had about 80% of what I was looking for on paper. Brown hair and eyes, tall, ethnic and a professional. Well, I met him and he is bald. I don’t necessarily mind bald, but what was he thinking? His omission was blatant.

Sharon
OMG…bald guys are sooooo sexy. I remember this one guy, bald as a cue-ball – but he had lips and a pair of hands that could just make music on my …um…okay…promised Mariann I’d keep this PG-rated (she just spoils all my fun). Anyway, ask him about it. That’s it…simple, right? Maybe it’s an old photo. Maybe he recently shaved his head. Of course, if you ask him about the lack of hair and he says “What are you talking about?? I most certainly do have hair!”, then he has bigger problems than a propensity for lying about his pix and you need to let him know that he needs a therapist, not a date. Otherwise, if you like him and he’s sane, don’t worry about the follicle issue, have fun – and check out his lips and hands. 🙂

Mariann:
First off — Thank You Sharon for keeping it PG Rated. It must be a New Year miracle. My mother had a saying she carried on from her father (who had lost his hair young): “You never saw a bald donkey.” Which means that bald men are not jackasses. OK, so he was coming from a subjective perspective. If bald does not bother you … cut him some slack and … dare I say it … I agree with Sharon … ask him. I once went out with a guy who was bald but had hair on the side of his head and he did not consider himself bald. I also went out with one guy who said he had black hair, was unmarried and had not kids. Upon meeting him, I discovered he was bald … separated and had a 4 year old. HELLO?!?! Now that is a liar. We didn’t make it past a soda at the bar!

Sharon
Mare! Are you sure you didn’t mix up the profiles of the black haired guy and the bald guy with the 4 year old? I mean, you are Blonder than I am sometimes…:)

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Responses

  1. There are two issues: that of baldness which is a simple matter of taste, and that of purposely putting up a picture that lied about how he looks.

    As far as baldness, you have to see if you can get used to it or not. As far as the lack of honesty, I agree that I’d be curious what he has to say for himself about that.

    At the same time, sorry to say but you need to be honest with yourself and ask yourself the question: am I a very honest person? If yes, I’d think you want to be with someone similar. If not, maybe it isn’t such a big deal!

  2. I love guys with completely shaved heads. I say if a guy is going bald on top, he should shave it off. If it’s an old pic, he needs to update it cuz that’s a lie.

  3. I could see why a man would try to hide the fact that he was bald. A stigma exists, whether it be related to age or virility. It seems that in order to experience any kind of success in online dating, we must learn to lie about ourselves so that one person will take a chance and get to know us.

    That being said, I must add that, as a redhead, I fall into a category even less appealing than bald men. I can’t very well lie about my hair color in a profile. I mean, they give us that wonderful list of details that we feel compelled to complete. At this point, I’d rather leave the hair color option unanswered in hopes that a woman might become interested for who I am as a person and not what I look like. Honestly, I’d much rather be a bald man than a redhead.

    Your experiences are a result of the blatant superficiality present in our society. Unfortunately for those of us who are inadequate in this area, everyone has essentially accepted this as how things are. There is no escaping it. Physical appearance matters. It may be wrong, but it is what it is.

    Online dating success is measured in the number of replies a man can generate. Given that the aforementioned examples kept your attention to the point of having an exchange leading to a meet up, the gamble worked, at least enough to coax out legitimate interest. Maybe I should lie more. I may not get beyond a soda at the bar, but it’s better than the silence I currently cope with, I suppose.

    • Thanks for the comments and your perspective! I agree with you that online dating can be an adventure in superficiality. Trust me when I say that women who aren’t thirty years old or younger and built like Barbie can be met with deafening silence too. But don’t let that get you down. I think that patience and persistence are key qualities to have when you’re dating online. Remember, unless you’re looking to “date around”, you’re not looking for hundreds of replies..just that ONE who you connect with on many more levels than looks.


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