After scrolling through one profile after another, I come across a smile or look that appeals to me. I click on the profile and am relieved to find that he has no bare chested photos, does not write in all caps, uses punctuation and actually seems to have a sense of humor.
I email. Short. Sweet. A little humor. Keep him wanting more. I am excited to see an email from him 2 days later. It is surprisingly well written. It is more than one line just asking for my tel #. It has a beginning, middle and end. And shockingly, he actually asks me some questions about me! I am in heaven.
The exchanges bring us along to a comfortable level that I can open up a bit and am ready to chat. His emails flow well, have personality and start to show me a little about who he is. I like it and want to know more.
Finally, I agree to talk on the phone and he calls at the exact time he promises. Surprisingly, I am actually a little nervous and excited. It has been awhile.
For the next 10 minutes, I chalk his jittery and stilted and uninteresting conversation up to nerves. For another 10 minutes, I start to think that someone absconded with my Prince Charming and this was his stand in.
After 30 minutes, I end the torture and tell him I have to get off the phone. Afterwards, my head is spinning … and not from the titilating intellectual conversation but from confusion as to how a great email exchange can go so awry when you actually talk on the phone.
I should not have done it, but I powered up the laptop and sent an email asking by would be suitor why the conversation lagged when our emails did not.
I was surprised he answered but even more shocked by his answer. He said he was terribly shy and his friend wrote his emails for him because he felt things but had trouble expressing them in words. And, he hated phones but once he got comfortable, he started to open up.
We had an honest exchange … just he and I through email … and then he called me … and the next 20 minutes flowed naturally … in real … without his online dating ghost writer. It was a truly pleasant surprise.
We met and dated for a couple of months. Although it did not work out, we became friends … and he is now writing his own emails.
Have you ever found that disconnect between how someone writes in their emails vs how they communicate on the phone or in person?
Hmmmm … maybe they have outsourced their online dating email writing to the same guy answering the phone for Domino Pizza orders in India. Maybe? Anything seems possible these days.