Posted by: Shar & Mare | March 10, 2011

Q & A: She’s Just A Little TOO Popular


We should all have such problems

Question:
I’ve been dating online for quite some time now and, after some really frustrating times, met a great guy. We’ve only been out twice but we get along great and I think there’s a possibility that this may lead somewhere. My problem is, around the time I first met Guy A, I was contacted by Guy B. We emailed each other once and made plans to meet for coffee. Since I’d only just met Guy A, I didn’t have a problem with meeting Guy B for coffee. After all, I could always email later and say that I didn’t think we were a match. Well, guess what….I really like Guy B too. Now I don’t know what to do? Drop Guy A? Drop Guy B? Date them both? Ughhhhh.

Sharon

Well…we should all have these problems…:) I would say, for now, to just relax and have fun. Look, having been around the dating block myself a few times, I can say with some confidence that both A and B probably still have their profiles active. Statistically, it takes guys longer to decide on whether or not a casual dating scene should get more serious, so don’t take that personally. So at this point I wouldn’t drop one or the other. Go out with each a few more times. The dust will settle, you will find a preference for one guy over the other. If you want to be really honest and open about it all you could tell each of them: “You know, I’m still meeting and seeing men from XYZsite.com. I really enjoy your company but won’t go off the site until I know that I’m with someone who I want a serious relationship with.” This will do one of two things. First, it could scare the bejesus out of him and he’ll bolt (in which case you’ll know that he’s not serious dating material) or it will open up a conversation with him about whether or not he’s still on the site and if he’s seeing other women….perfectly acceptable since at this point you are in a casual dating scenario.

Relax, have fun. After experiencing the frustrations of online dating you deserve to be having fun with men who’s company you truly enjoy. And, again, don’t worry – the dust will settle and you’ll have a “winner.”

Mariann:
Can I be YOU for a day? You went out with Guy A and Guy B just once. You are not exclusive or engaged — so stop getting ahead of yourself and where you are in these relationships. Trust me, these guys are looking at other profiles — and that is no reflection on you — that is just being a guy and dating. After 6 months and an engagement, if these guys were looking at profiles, then you have an issue.

I would recommend you continue dating both. They both seem great now, but like cream, one will rise to the top and then you will find yourself wanting to spend more time with them over the other. And, one may fall out completely but that does not mean you don’t meet other people.

Please do NOT take Sharon’s advise and tell the men you are dating others. That is not necessary – it is way too early to be making those declarations. Why create a situation when you don’t have to? Unless you are exclusive, it is natural to think will you be dating other people.

So, until you are exclusive — relax and have fun and enjoy DATING. If someone interests you enough to be serious or exclusive, then you will know and things will happen organically. Have fun!

Advertisements

Responses

  1. Ahhh, to have those ‘problems’ 😉

  2. You may like both of them right now and neither of them next week. Two dates is nowhere near enough time to know somebody well enough to decide whether it will go some where. A second date (while elusive for some *cough* Grey *cough* and… fine, myself as well) is not a relationship and it seems like you are more likely to scare the poor guys off. Dating is just that – dating.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: