Posted by: Shar & Mare | March 31, 2011

Q & A: Profile Writer’s Block!


Stuck on how to write the perfect profile?Question:
My friends have finally convinced me to take the plunge into online dating. I’ve found a dating site I like, one which I think has the type and quality of men on there who would be good matches for me. My problem is that I’m totally stuck on how to finish filling out my profile. I have to write something about myself in my own words and I have writer’s block! What if I write too much or too little? What if I don’t define myself in a way that will “speak” to the men I want to meet? Help!!! I can’t believe I’m having such a profile identity crisis.

Sharon
First, congratulations on taking the leap into online dating. I wish you much fun in your search for “The One”. Let me also send congratulations on being smart enough to do some research into finding the site that you think will be a good match for you in your search. So many singles leap into this site or that, only to be disappointed in the results.

Now, the profile….yes, this is a monumental task for many of us. How to show ourselves in the right light can be a daunting task. I’m going to suggest a couple of things for you. First, start with keywords. Make a list of all your personal qualities inner as well as outer qualities. Be specific, don’t just say “I love to laugh”, state what it is that you love to laugh about. Are you a good cook? Write down what your specialty is. Most of us share many inner and outer qualities. Your goal is to show what makes yours unique to you. Next, have those wonderful friends of yours each write a short paragraph about YOU…who they think you are, how you come across to the world. There, now you have two tools at your disposal. From these, write your profile. Better yet, get a voice recorder and talk into it, as if you were describing yourself in person. This will make your profile conversational and personal.

Most of all, be yourself. The right person will see you shining through the words.

Mariann
I join Sharon in welcoming you to the wonderful world of online dating. Congratulations. My number one recommendation to you is to BE YOURSELF. Let your personality come through the words. Think about the person you are and the kind of person you really want to attract and write to that.

I agree with Sharon — be specific. Say what makes you happy or laugh — without being too long winded (I know whereof I speak).

Once you write your profile, have some friends read it and provide their feedback. They know you — they will tell you what you are missing or give valuable input. Filter it and then incorporate it into your profile. Don’t try to be something you are not and don’t try to be what you think people are looking for — that will just set you up for a trail of bad dates. Someone will be attracted to the you that takes life in your words … let us know how it goes.

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Responses

  1. This may sound weird… but I looked at a bunch of profiles of the same sex in a different city and while I didn’t ‘single white female’ anybody or completely plagiarize, if there was a way in which somebody described an attribute I had or was looking for I did incorporate some of their wording. It actually gave me a fresh perspective on stating what I was trying to say.

  2. Not weird at all…finding something well-said and adapting it to your profile is really great advice.


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