Posted by: Shar & Mare | April 18, 2011

Dating in a Facebook World


Facebook and online datingI (little Miss Information Junkie) was cruising around the web in search of interesting online dating tidbits and found Match.com’s article on the New Rules of Dating. I thought that I would write a post about the article as a whole but then, one of the statistics mentioned caught my eye.

By the (Face)Book: Younger singles between the ages of 21-35 think it’s perfectly acceptable to add a date as a Facebook friend after 2-3 dates (26%). One out of six young ones think its okay to friend your new date before your first date ever occurs (Whether you are friending them to scrutinize pictures of them with their exes is still undetermined).”

I’m on Facebook, I’m a huge fan of using Facebook to keep in touch with distant family, alumni connections and even friends I see often IRL (In real life). But this friending casual dates thing? I’ve never done this and I’m not sure I ever would.

I understand that “friending” someone on FB is basically just the equivalent of adding them to your phone book or email list, you may or may not communicate with them regularly but, if you wanted to say hi, see what they were up to, etc. the mode of contact is in place. Nice way to not lose touch with people you don’t see often. I like that about FB.

However!…this particular “phone book” will allow your friends to see a lot more than just your contact access. Do I really want someone I’ve only gone out with two or three times to be able to see all my comments and pictures? NO…I do not have drunken college party pix on my page. My photos are tame to the point of being totally boring. But….I have photos of exes whom I still have a friendly relationship with. Do I want a new guy to see that…before I’ve had a chance to talk about how I like to stay on friendly terms after a mutually agreeable split? NO.

And what happens if that budding relationship ends after only a month or two? Do I worry about being Facebook-Stalked? Sure, I could un-friend them, but when I friend someone…I like keep it that way. Who has the time or inclination to have to Purge their Friends lists regularly? I like to keep my FB account as work-free as possible.

Actually, I feel the same way about the Relationship Status on Facebook. I don’t list one. If I were engaged or married, I’d post that status…these are serious, permanent things. But In A Relationship? Nope, sorry, nobody’s business but mine.

I know a lot of people have a much more cavalier attitude about this and…well…it has it’s drawbacks. My sister started dating a guy and they decided it would be funny to post their statuses as Married to one another. They did. My aunt (in her 60’s) started messaging everyone to find out why she wasn’t invited to the wedding. My dad, who’s not on Facebook, got wind of this and wanted to know “what the hell is going on and what the hell is this Face thing???!!”. OK, yes it was sort of funny in weird family way but still…I like to keep my FB account lean and mean. I have enough of a balancing act just dealing with dating site email accounts and IM’s.

So, here’s a LifeBytes unofficial and totally un-scientific poll about dating and Facebook. It’s a simple yes-no-maybe…please feel free to elaborate on your answers in our comments section. Responses will be tallied and a future post on the poll will be written! Sharon 🙂

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Responses

  1. Wow Sharon ! U and I actually agree! Wow!

  2. Great blog. And food for thought. Thanks. 🙂

  3. […] few weeks ago, a friend told me they met the person they are dating from meeting on Facebook. I was curious how they met, and apparently, they were commenting on the same post and the guy […]

  4. […] “like” someone’s profile or photo. It’s created an atmosphere of laziness I think. We don’t court one another in the ways our parents (and yes even WE) did in the days before co……and I kinda miss […]


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