Not long ago, as part of a team-building event, my colleagues and I were required to take an online “work personality” test. We logged onto a testing site and had to answer, quickly and without analyzing them, questions about how we would react in certain situations and how we would approach certain work-related challenges. Shades of Chemistry.com!! Well, really the only difference between this test and an online dating sites “test” is that the office version didn’t offer us an “in your own words” section, where you could describe yourself and your ideal work-mate.
Which would have been very interesting. Mine would be:
I’m a creative female manager who loves one-on-one coffee breaks, lively marketing demographic discussions (bonus if you love the philosophical aspects of brand management..;) and the occasional action-packed, yet touching Powerpoint presentation. You are an intelligent, hard-working (but not a Workaholic!) executive who can handle a balance sheet with style. Care to meet for a romantic Water Cooler tete-a-tete?
Too much, right? I sometimes think that we’ve reduced every aspect of our lives to a measurable personality matrix. To the point that there are no surprises left in our relationships. Sure, it’s great going on a date with someone who matches you on “27 points of compatibility”. At least you know you won’t meet and immediately want to kill each other on a first date – even though statistically you’ll never have a second date with these people who’ve proven their compatibility to you through a 4 hour online quiz. Don’t you sometimes think that the ONLY thing taking a test that involved proves about someone is either A.) They are insanely patient. or B.) They have way too much time on their hands and really need to get a life, rather than a date?
I love online dating. It’s given me the opportunity to meet men whom I’d otherwise never cross paths with and a few of them have led to many dates or, once, to a long and lovely relationship. It’s nice to go on a first date with someone whom you’ve only emailed with, confident that you’ll at least be able to discuss Fine Art (since you both came out high on the “Artistic” scale in that personality quiz). It just lacks a certain surprise factor for me….and I miss that.
I miss the kind of dating I did in High School and College. Dating that starts because you see him at the football game or the local pub and think “Oh. My. God. He’s soooooo CUTE!!!! Then you go through the “getting a friend to introduce you” phase. The “flirting and finding out things about one another” phase and then…onto the dating. This is where you find the little hidden Easter Eggs of surprises about one another. You realize that he’s a true gentleman when he opens doors for you. He finds out that you have a sentimental streak when you get teary-eyed over the sad movie. You discover these things, you have to because there is no printout in your hand showing the chart that categorizes you both as compatible “Creative-Explorers”. I miss that. Do you? Do you like to explore and discover or are you more comfortable with the pre-pschoanalysed, I-know-what-I’m-getting-into type of online date?
I wonder where this wistful aspect of myself would put me on eHamony’s matching scale?? 🙂