Have you met their family? How do they interact? Have you met their friends? Have you heard any family stories?
Everything seems perfect, so why would you doubt what this person tells you? Why would you see flags? You don’t, you are falling in love (or at least deep like) and you don’t see red flags. Or, maybe you don’t want to see red flags.
If you see a life with this person, does it occur to you to do a background check? Then, you wonder if you are being paranoid and certainly that is not necessary.
When I was in my mid 30’s, I went out with a very nice man who was 50. He was attractive and intelligent … and realistic. We went out a few times and although it did not work out, I think he gave me some very valuable advice. He told me that every woman over the age of 30 should do a complete background check on the guy they are dating if they feel it could get serious. I laughed and thought he was joking. He was not.
He said you can’t believe everyone and that it is always safe to protect yourself and make sure you match up what people tell you with what is.
A couple of years later, a cousin met someone and married after 6-9 months of dating. They were older and felt they knew who they were and what they wanted. They thought they knew each other. Well, it turns out she did not know him as well as she should have. He had not seen his family for 10 years until he brought my cousin around. And, he was schizophrenic and not only did not tell her, but went off his medicine before the wedding so by the time the honeymoon came, it was not what a honeymoon should be.
The words my brief friend voiced rang truer than ever. And, it is not about distrust or not loving someone, but it is about protecting yourself. And, you have to do that.
What do you think? Is one being paranoid or should one be careful and cautious and make sure they are protected?
I want to hear what you have to say. Please let us know!