Posted by: Shar & Mare | July 11, 2011

Smart Girls Guide To Dating Online: Is Your Profile True To You?

Is your profile attracting "frogs"When was the last time you read your own online dating profile? Bet it’s been a while. Go look at it. Now.

I’ll wait.

Back? OK. Based on what you read …who are you? Would you date yourself? Is the person  you describe as your “ideal match” really someone you’d want to spend a lot of time with? Your online profile is important, that along with your picture is the first glimpse a potential date has of you. It’s your calling card, your advertising pitch – the marketing tool that entices potential dates into wanting to know more. And more often than not, our online profiles are not working for us. Are you not attracting attention or…worse…attracting the wrong kind of attention? Your profile is a magnet that can attract or repel. Let’s go through some pitfalls and bad online profile strategies and figure out what will make yours shine.

Are you attracting the same “bad-for-you” type over and over?

Lazy? Losers? Mama’s boys? Peter Pans? Your profile is probably attracting this type. Look at what you’re saying and how you’re saying it. Sure, we all like our personal freedom, but if the words in your profile make you sound like being “footloose and fancy free” 24/7 is of the utmost importance to you…you just may be attracting the commitment-phobic man who will perceive you as safe to date. If you wax poetic about how you are just SO careful with your money (in an attempt to sound financially stable) …you may just be attracting tight-wads.

Find another way to word these statements. You don’t want to be dishonest and portray yourself as something you’re not (more on that later) but you do want to be clear. for example, if being financially sound is important to you, try a statement like “although I love nice dinners at upscale bistros and other “finer things” in life, I still know the value of a bargain when I see it”. It says, yes I can be frugal, but I’m by no means cheap. You’ll put the tight-wads on notice!

Do you often find yourself meeting someone for the first time and realize that you have nothing in common?

Look at your profile. Are you saying that you enjoy certain things or activities JUST because you think it will attract more responses? This is where honesty is imperative in a profile. If you say that you love Hockey, then don’t be surprised if you find yourself on a coffee date with a man who is boring you to tears with his non-stop chatter about the New York Islanders! State what your interests/hobbies/likes/dislikes are with complete and utter honesty. Yes…. I KNOW the guy with the hot looking pix is a fanatical skier and you would rather eat nails than be anywhere near snow….but DON’T pretend to like skiing just to meet him. He’ll figure out that you’re not compatible when you come down with the “flu” every time he wants to go skiing.

Is how you picture yourself the same way the world pictures you?

Oftentimes how we perceive ourselves is far different than how our friends and family see us. They’re often much more perceptive and right on the money about us than we are about ourselves. So, how would the people who know you best describe you? Do this, ask at least three trusted friends (friends of the opposite sex would be ideal!) to list the qualities that make you, in their opinions, a great date. Then, use that information in describing yourself online.

When was that profile picture taken?

If your pictures is more than a year old…get a new one. If it’s ten years old…burn it. The headshot you use doesn’t have to be a glamour shot. It just has to be clear and current and look like you. Like it or not, even if you are drop dead gorgeous, there will be singles who nix you as a potential date because of how you look. Don’t take it personally, maybe they only date redheads, or they only date people over six feet tall, or their astrologer told them their soul-mate will be someone with a large mole on their left cheek. You really don’t want to meet those folks anyway, I don’t care how perfect they sound for you in their write-up. Ignore them. The really unforgiveable sin in online dating is to show up for a date and not look like your picture. So get a good headshot, from a camera….not your cell phone.

There you have it …and if you follow the above advice I guarantee that you’ll meet your mate next week….KIDDING! There are no guarantees. There is an excellent chance however that you will start meeting singles who are interested in YOU, who are more compatible with you, who are good for you. And that’s always a happy thing!




  1. […] is the thing that I find challenging to describe in a dating profile, under the “Who I’m Looking For” section. What I have in my profile is basically […]

  2. […] get to pick who you want to contact, or reply to. YOU get to describe who you are looking for in your profile. YOU get to decide who’s for you and who’s […]

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