Posted by: Shar & Mare | September 5, 2011

The Black Hole of Dating Emails

Strange Emails!I found a great article on this week, Why Guys Don’t Bother to Call, which lists all the reasons men have for never calling you after a seemingly great first date where you have laughs, conversation and chemistry….Interesting…apparently grown men are prone to channeling their innner 16 year-old girls. I say this because I was a 16 year-old girl at one time. I over-analyzed ever word, gesture and shred of body-language produced by whichever boy I was currently “in crush” with. I had no interest in any boy who wasn’t rating high on the “cool” scale – much to my current self’s dismay at the last class reunion wherein the nerdy former classmate has turned out to be a talented, successful HUNK of a guy…Oh well.

Men will drop an apparently good match uncategorically because she has an annoying laugh or other odd quirk, seems to be interested in pursuing a serious relationship…OR pursuing a not serious relationship, and other real or imagined “reasons”. Of course, since I started dating online I’ve always suspected that this was the case. I’m pretty sure it works that way for the initial emails we send to one another before the coffee-or-drinks-or-dinner first meeting.

Last week I emailed someone who’s profile seemed interesting. He emailed me back with a compliment on my writing skills while including a few jokes about his own lack of such. He also wrote ” I can out cook most people and love to do crazy stuff. Jump from planes run with bulls and fish in the jungle. OK so now what do you think?” [sic]

Here’s part of what I sent back: “Do you jump from the plane before or after you run with bulls and fish….in the jungle?? LOL just kidding.” I can still hear the sound of crickets in the silence of my in-box. This was last week and I’m sure I’ll never hear from this guy again. Why? He’s still active on the site so he hasn’t met anyone else. I’m pretty sure I didn’t include any inadvertent comments which would lead him to believe I’m a nut/psycho/axe-murderer/high-maintenance/clingy/boring (worse than being an axe-murderer)/stalker/vegetarian, or ANY other possible deal breaker.

So, I’m going to believe that my somewhat sarcastic (but in the cutest way:) humor didn’t…um…let’s say resonate with him. And I’m fine with that. I want to meet the guy who bursts into gales of laughter when he reads some whacko comment that I’ve just written or uttered. I want to meet the guy who can throw me an appropriate comeback. I want to meet the guy who can go head-to-head with me in a sarcastic-comedic throwdown!

Know anyone like that? Send him my number, OK?




  1. It happens to the best of us. Aren’t you glad you are not all alone with these issues? Ha ha ha

  2. OH I certainly am!! This is why LifeBytes and the blog are so great…we can share our pain and have some laughs too.

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