Posted by: Shar & Mare | September 19, 2011

Couch Relationships

When I visit one of my best friends in CA, I love to sit on his deck and look out at the greenery, light torches, hot tub and trees. I live in a condo, so having my coffee sitting in a lounge chair with such a pretty view is a treat and relaxing to me. So, I don’t want to move off the lounge chair.

My friend is used to his surroundings and wants to get out of the house and do something and when he sees my reluctance to move, he calls me a COUCH POTATO and has even “songified” it with a new iPhone app (what a good friend! Lol).

But, I am not lazy and like to experience new and interesting things, but sometimes I just need to stop and take a breath and not do anything. But, that becomes dangerous when it is your constant state.

Recently, I was talking to a friend about date nights and things to do on a date. I love to try new restaurants, but that is not ALL I want to do. There are day trips, historical sights, theater, sports, museums and lectures to experience as well. I was dating someone whose idea of a date was going to dinner. And, many times suggested the same restaurant. BORING. He did not try to keep it interesting or open the door to new experiences. Many times, his idea of a night out was going to dinner and coming back to my condo afterward. That is all well and good … but not every date. If we did do anything different other than a hike, I had come up with the idea and planned it.

My friend turned to me and said, “you have a couch relationship.” I shuddered at the thought, but knew she was right. My mind read that as the perfect time to “mix it up” and DO SOMETHING different.

But, I also realized it can’t be one sided. The other person has to have a similar realization and be able to reciprocate in planning dates or outings that are different and enjoyable. If you don’t, you lose that relationship balance I have talked about before in my blogs.

So, a warning to all daters … DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO HAVE A COUCH RELATIONSHIP! This means the relationship is in a rut. And, if you try to change that or avoid it and the person you are with does not want to change or sees nothing wrong with the status quo, then you might want to get a new couch … I mean, … a new person to date.

And, beware … if you don’t, a good friend may just songify it for you and put it in perspective!



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