We have a guest post this week, courtesy of WeLoveDates.com. Enjoy!
I’m shy by nature, but more than that, I feel like I can’t ever fully relax and be myself on a first date. I’m always trying to stay one step ahead of the game-my inner monologue tends to go something like this…what should I say next, what will he think if I order another glass of wine, he’s not as cute as he was in his photos, dang I really want another glass of wine…
First dates, especially with someone from online dating, are more of an opportunity to feel things out rather than a chance for a real love connection. I’m looking for reassurance that he is who he said he is, that we do have things to talk about outside g-chat, and that there is some sort of physical attraction. By the time I’ve figured it all out and am ready to let my guard down, the date is over.
I used to make first dates into something larger than they are. I wanted him to like me so badly before I even knew who he was…or if I liked him! I would go shopping before each and every first date-It was ridiculous. I’d get a cute new outfit, sometimes even get my hair professionally blown out, or a manicure. I’d spend hours getting ready for dates that were generally never worth it. I made a resolution to save all the effort for men I knew were worth it-not just who appeared to be on the internet. My sanity, hair and checking account all thank me.
By removing some of the pressure from my first dates, I’ve been able to enjoy them more. Instead of feeling horribly let down after a first date where there was no spark, I come home feeling happy that I put myself out there, and content that I had set no expectations. Or, if the date is really terrible, I politely excuse myself early and go meet my friends across town for a drink and laugh it off. Best case scenario? Our first date was pure magic, and I can’t wait to see him again soon.
If I’m unsure about a guy based on our first date, I give him another chance…second dates are where the fun really starts, anyway.
We Love Dates is an online dating website & dating advice blog for singles in the UK, Ireland, US, Canada, South Africa & Australia. Liz blogs (and vlogs!) daily about all things online dating, love, sex and relationships.