Posted by: Shar & Mare | February 20, 2012

Do I LOOK Like The Perfect Pen Pal?

OK Cupid, what's with the pen pal thing?I recently joined OK Cupid. I’d been putting it off for some time since, the one time I scoped out the site, I had the impression that it would be LOTS of work to build a profile, answer questions and interact with members often enough to actually connect with anyone. Free site or not, I was feeling way too lazy for that.

But I finally decided to give it a whirl and see what was going on there. After all, I could just close my profile if I didn’t like the site…or “working” it exhausted me. Surprisingly, I’m finding it easy and fun to use. What I don’t like is that most of the men I’m contacted by here seem to want a pen pal rather than a date.

The first man who contacted me wrote a beautiful, chatty and friendly email as an ice-breaker. I was completely impressed, good writing is one sure-fire way to get my attention. For about three weeks we wrote back and forth and finally, he mentioned that it might be nice to get together. Of course I wrote back in agreement and mentioned that my upcoming week looked open..lets plan. I have never heard back from him. I’m on the fence as to whether to send him a quick note asking if he’s still interested…leaning towards sending it…I’ll keep you posted on how that unfolds.

In the meantime, I found another man, lives close by and sounded down-to-earth and intelligent, so I wrote a short note to say hi and ask if he’d like to write, talk, maybe meet. He wrote this back: “Perhaps”. One word?? Cat got your keyboard??? I DO try to be open-minded and give everyone the benefit of the doubt, especially with these first emails, so I wrote again to see if I could elicit at least a handful of English words, preferably strung together into a sentence. I even sent my cell number with the note that, if he preferred speaking to typing it would be fine to talk on the phone. One, two word responses went on, back and forth, for an email or two. I’ve now given up trying here.

I know that men can be reticent about pursuing an online gal if they’re “not sure” about her. That’s fine, I totally accept that. But for cripe’s sake…call if you’re not sure. Even if you are sure…CALL, or say you’re not interested…it’s OK to do that. It is also OK to write more than one word at a time. Guys, tell me…is this a new trend in online dating? Or am I just pickin’ the wrong apples?

I will though, stay on OK Cupid because it is kind of fun and …you never know. Also, the questions you can answer there are interesting, weird sometimes, but interesting….Hmmmm…I sense a future blog post about this.



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