Posted by: Shar & Mare | February 27, 2012

Online Dating – It’s The New Psychotherapy!

I joined OK Cupid not too long ago just to see if there were any single men I could have possibly missed in my years of online dating (apparently there are!). Typical of a dating site, one needs to fill out a form with age, height, build, name-rank-and-serial number…all the usual. Then, you get to answer questions. Lots and lots of questions. Some are to the point “Does smoking disgust you?” (yes). Some are about general social opinions – “Is intoxication ever an excuse for acting stupid?” (Yes. Isn’t this why one gets drunk in the first place?). There are questions which measure geekiness – “Star Trek: Cool or Uncool? (Jean Luc Picard is Tres Sexy!), and even the completely bizarre: “Which pubic hair style do you prefer in a partner?” (Not something I’ve ever pondered. EVER) I started answering these questions and found it was loads of fun. Kind of reminded me of the quizzes I used to take in my 20’s when I read “Cosmopolitan” magazine (“Are You The Princess or The Pea In Bed?”)

I’d answered about a hundred when I started noticing that the men coming up in my searches had answered upwards of three-hundred questions. Seriously? Could this be why I’m finding it so easy to connect online with new men here, but almost impossible to get any of them to meet for a face-to-face cup of coffee?? “Sorry honey, no time to meet. I’ve got QUESTIONS to answer!”

Now I’m noticing all the questions to be found on OK Cupid…Are you Jewish?…How often do you wash your dishes?…Do you like the beach?…Could you date someone with no long term goals? Do you ever wear mis-matched socks? As of this writing I have yet to find the question: How often to you clean out the lint trap in your washer? But I feel positive that I will…soon.

eHarmony boasts a self-evaluation test that’s “guaranteed” to find you the best possible matches based on 29 points of compatibility! What that means is, when you sign up on the site you will spend at least 4 hours (Yes! FOUR HOURS) filling out their excruciatingly detailed personality test. Talk about self-evaluation gone wild.

With all this in-depth personal evaluation going on online, it’s a wonder that therapists are still in business. I think it’s quite possible that we’ve all become so self-aware and uber-self-actualized that we’ve discovered we don’t need a date…we’re just too perfect now, thank you very much.

I think I’d like to find someone with a few warts. I always pictured my knight in shining armor as having a few (endearing) dings in said armor. So I’ll just need to find the man who does not, in fact, clean out his lint trap often enough!

And that’s all the ranting I’ll be doing on this particular subject today. I have to go and answer some more questions now…




  1. […] when you date online, it almost seems like there should be a section on Family History and stability. I know this is not politically correct, but it could save a lot of time in finding it […]

  2. […] found that having to post an online profile is sometimes better than therapy. To do this right one has to go through some personal analysis, and that is always interesting. […]

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