I hear this, in some form or another, from many women. I have to say, I’ve voiced this lament myself on more than one occasion. I know I’m not a runway model, but I’ve been told by many a friend that I’m “cute”, “attractive”, “pretty”, and sundry other complimentary adjectives. So what’s the deal here guys?
I know there are many more women than men surfing the online dating sites, but it seems to me as if the men who ARE online are looking more than dating. I have one girlfriend who is beautiful, successful, slim and vivacious. She insists that the only way to meet the “right guy” online is to make sure he contacts you FIRST. Her reasoning is that the caveman instinct is alive and well and that if a man is going to be interested and STAY interested, he needs to be the one to make the first move. So she never, ever contacts a man first online. She doesn’t date…at all.
I, on the other hand, will send a quick email to whomever strikes my fancy online. I do manage to date on occasion, but not as often as I should given the avalanche of emails I’ve been known to shoot off. Am I just not their cup of tea? Given the uneven distribution of men to women, am I just getting lost in the shuffle? Am I just one of eight hundred emails from women that these men are surely receiving everyday? Or, could it be the “Seinfeld” effect – where everyone online has gotten SO picky and SO determined to find the “perfect” date, that they ignore anyone who doesn’t fit the picture in their heads 100% (GEE….she’s perfect except for the fact that she drinks red wine….No, no, no…only a white wine drinker will do. Pass).
My bet is on the Seinfeld theory. As I read through men’s profiles online, I’m finding, more and more, an undercurrent of this “you must be THE perfect woman for me” attitude. There’s a paragraph, sometimes two or three, waxing poetic about wanting to Meet And See If There’s Chemistry…THEN, in the next sentence are the I’m Picky, Picky, Picky comments. Which leads me to wonder whether or not these guys are really open to meeting a variety of women…or just the Barbie who lives in their head.
Of course, I could be wrong. Maybe you’ve had different experiences or a different take on this subject? And, since we are on the subject – Ladies, are you ALSO looking for utter and complete perfection, or are you open to dating outside your “type”?
I’m pouring a glass of wine and putting my feet up…join me and let’s discuss!