Posted by: Shar & Mare | June 6, 2012

50 Shades of Bad Boys

I’ve been reading the “50 Shades of Grey” trilogy lately. Are they well-written books? NOT by a longshot. Have you read any of the books yet? Have you noticed how everyone “murmurs” their dialogue.

“Come here”, he murmured.

“What are you doing?”, murmured Ana.

Everyone’s getting all hot and bothered reading these books and I’m laughing my ass off. But I did find the trilogy hard to put down. First, there’s a whole lot more foreplay than actual play happening, which is always so deliciously appealing, whether you’re reading about it or actually indulging in it.

And then… there’s the “bad boy” that is Christian Grey. What is it about these dark, damaged little-boy-in-a-man’s-body types that we find so appealing? I mean, let’s face it, any woman who’s at least in her late 20’s has been there, done that with guys who need fixin’…and we ain’t fixin’ no more sistah! Oh no, who we want is the man (note the word MAN) who’s comfortable with himself and his life. A man who’s looking for a woman (note the word WOMAN) who is his physical, mental and emotional equal. We are not willing to be anyone’s mommy/therapist/nursemaid anymore.

And yet, the bad boys continue to pique our curiosity and fuel our fantasies. I’ll admit I was bouncing between “He wants to do WHAT to her? How dare he? Why does she put up with that?” to “OHHHHHHH…..that’s SO HOT!!”, leaning far more frequently towards the hot comments…;)

After much thought and re-reading of all hot sex scenes (in the name of research of course…hehehehe) I have to say that I think the ultimate appeal of Christian and his ilk is not the fact that he’s a bad boy, but that he’s a boy in love.

Christian adores Ana, worships her, worries that she’ll leave him, would do anything to make her happy. He doesn’t become a better man because she “worked” on him. He becomes a better man because he loves her and wants to keep her, to please her. She challenges him and he meets those challenges because he is in L.O.V.E. love.

And THAT kids, is what I think the bad boy appeal is. It’s not so much the “Bad” part, seriously could you put up with misbehavior 24/7? Would you want to? Not me. No, I think we just love the idea of someone loving us so much that they want to…must…become a better person for us. It’s some weird chick-ego thing that we all have. I think it’s in our DNA, don’t you?

Sadly, most bad boys are just bad and many of us have to experience them at least once in order to truly appreciate the good boys. But hey, they can love us enough to want to be better men for us too, right? And if they have a TEENSY touch of naughty mixed in …well….then…

What’s your take on the “bad boy” effect? What are/were your experiences with the dark and damaged darlings? What do you think the appeal is? …and speak distinctly, no murmuring please…LOL




  1. SO FUNNY – I just posted on the trilogy as well. I actually think that what’s kind of appealing about Grey is that he is full of surprises and that he’s “broken” – so many women are maternal and like to heal people’s wounds, hence part of the appeal. With regard to my own opinion on bad boys in real life, I think that the healing should be left to a therapist. Just because you love and understand them, that does not mean that it’ll be a healthy relationship or that he won’t do something terribly sabotaging to you. (That being said, I was a bit of a dark soul myself, and my husb put up with a lot and helped me through it).

    • Oh I totally agree about leaving the fixing to the therapist! But we do so find ourselves attracted to the broken boys don’t we? I think eventually most women realize that it’s not always healthy to get involved with those types though.

  2. Completely agree.. my view has changed completely since reading the first book which I have to admit I couldn’t put down. However, it is laughable when you get to the third book and this hot shot, successful, domineering man, won’t even let Ana tickle him because he was never tickled as a child or some other weak reason. It all started getting a bit too easy to laugh at!

  3. […] OK, so how many of you are laughing and thinking this is an obvious statement? But, so many times we tend to gravitate towards those qualities that may have a past history of not working out. If you are finding that person after person you are dating is not working out, it is time to […]

  4. […] relationship progresses to a physical one, it will be fun and kinda hot to talk about your favorite 50 Shades of – whatever it is that turns you on. It’s not a wise first date conversation topic though. I love (seriously love) talking the […]

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