I recently read an article titled 5 Secrets To Staying Sane In A Couples World. It offered some tips for dealing with your single-ness when it seems as if everyone in the world “has someone”…except for you.
I can relate to some of the issues, like going alone to events – I have a family wedding coming up and I’ll be the odd-girl out at a table full of married sibs and cousins. I can also attest to the advice given as being sound and true – Focus on You, ignore the cultural messages, and remember that being “in a relationship” isn’t always a bed of roses.
On the other hand, I have to wonder…and worry, about the need for articles and advice on coping with being single. It’s not a disease or an aberration, it’s a lifestyle. Whether or not one is single by choice or circumstance, how you approach this state of being is up to you.
One can fret and cry over not being able to find someone or, embrace what your life is at this moment. I like to choose embracing the moment.
Over the years I’ve cultivated both married, constantly dating, and single friends. I enjoy the company of each and every one of them and am at a point in my life where I don’t really care if I’m the only single gal at a dinner party of marrieds. They’re my friends and I always have a great time when I’m with them. The subject of having a partner rarely if ever comes up in these situations (think about it – it’s true!) so the conversation really won’t be awkward. My friends and I talk about our kids, theater, work, local gossip, the latest movies….never Poor Single Sharon. They wouldn’t be my friends if they did that, and THAT is the key.
My friends are like-minded people, thinking, smart people, and creative too. I’ve built my personal network over time and I’m happy with it. Anyone who’s ever been narrow-minded or made me feel less for the life I’ve chosen for my self has been left by my wayside.
And that, I think, is as it should be. When we make a life and a network of friends that makes us feel more instead of less, when we have interests, jobs, and hobbies that fill our creative and social needs, we find that that’s enough. And that is just the best place to be in when you’re out dating and looking to see if (note I said IF) there is a special person, or soul-mate, or significant other, or whatever title you care to use out there, it becomes fun and an adventure. Because you know that you’re not searching because you need someone to complete you or fill a hole in your life. You’re looking because you have a life that’s too big and beautiful to keep to yourself.
Now THAT’S what being single should be all about…:)