Posted by: Shar & Mare | November 15, 2012

Sexy Emails – Titillating or Too Far?

I love to write and especially communicate via email. If someone can write a good email, I can be easily smitten. That to me is … sexy. Yes, I know, perhaps my sense of sexy is skewed. But, I love men who can communicate via email and converse in person.

Today, many women are sending very sexy emails to their new online interest that do not seem to match the level of their relationship. Are these sexy emails titillating or going too far? And, doing with this with someone you have not even met yet, can be a cause for safety. I find that when you meet someone online, the tone and direction of the emails can be very different from one to the other. In a few cases, I have met people who are very flirty on line and some have sent some very sexy emails. I don’t mind some flirting … but I don’t really care for those guys who are blatant and start asking intimately personal questions or offer the specifics of “what they like” before I even know them. To me, that is crossing the line of TMI and appropriate. (Sharon may disagree with me here, but she is still re-reading 50 shades of gray every week! :-))

For me … that is too much too soon. I need to meet the person … get to know them … see if there is chemistry … and then develop trust to share anything more than basic info or a joke or banter.

As much as I like to write, I prefer a flirty or double entendre email with an overlay of humor over an overtly sexual email. I have friends who are very different and will get down and dirty very quickly.

So, I often wonder, how sexy is too sexy? I would rather get to know someone and then send them a card or plan and do something different and romantic.

I once dated this guy who I was incredibly attracted to and after the 2nd date, he started to send me very suggestive emails. It made me feel uncomfortable. OK, I get it … I am not like most people. I just felt like we did not have the trust elements really established and I felt odd about sharing something with him that I was not ready or felt secure enough to. Initially, I did my humor and LOL schtick. But, he persisted. When he asked me what underwear I wore, I was tempted to give him the manufacturer name and style number, but alas did not. I was overseas for an extended business trip and I would have preferred to be on a date with him than in a Shanghai hotel room eating what I thought was pizza. I wrote back something sweet … and was my version of sexy … which, well wasn’t really.

In the next email, he went further and I decided I did not like the graphic nature of the email or where he was guiding it. I told him so and said that it made me uncomfortable. He disappointed me in his response and did not email me again. That was fine — it said a lot. We did not see each other again.

But, flirty and sexy emails can certainly help the relationship in letting the person know you are thinking about them or to keep it a bit spicy. And that level will be different for each person.

But, what is the sexiest email you ever received? Let us know. MARIANN



  1. It all depends on the mood. I flip-flop all over the place on this one. If I happen to be at a family function with my kids when I get a naughty email, it is a turn off. If I am bouncing off the walls horny, those are great. It is all about timing.

    I agree that witty double entendres are the best. I, however, am not good enough to play at that level generally. But I admire those who can. Intelligence is sexy.

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