LifeBytes…Real Stories

I will never forget the summer of 2000. It was full of excitement and many transitions in my life. My divorce from my first husband was finalized and I was now in the position to start over and seek a husband of my dreams. I had written in my journal what type of man I was looking for and was anxious to get started dating. However, I had a huge problem!!! I was extremely shy. As, I reflect back, to say I was shy was an understatement of the decade because I was so shy, that I could never, look a man in his eyes, I always looked down and would almost have a panic attack if a man came within my “3 feet distance”. I knew this was going to be problematic, so I decided I would register online with a dating site. Many people thought the idea was a little weird but I thought it was a perfect way to meet someone especially if your were as shy as me. The first guy that I met online, sound like he was excellent husband material. For the sake of protecting his identity I will only change his name and career. Michael was what I would call eye candy deluxe. He was young, wealthy, attractive, ambitious and finally came from a two parent home just like me! I just knew I had this one in the bag. I was a size 2, God-fearing Christian woman, employed and hard-working, long hair, nice car, from a two parent household, loved my father and mother, possessed a mastered degree and owned my own home. When he arrived at my first door, he was smiling from ear to ear. I knew he was attracted to me quickly. However, the Sharon on the telephone was completely different from the Sharon in person. When Michael attempted to get within 3 feet of me, I would distance myself. I never looked him directly in the eye. I talked while my head was down refused to even sit next to him. In my mind or should I say opinion, I just knew my shyness was attractive to him and that he would want to go on a second date. I thought he would be pleased with my child like ways and behavior. However, Michael did me one of the biggest favors a friend could ever do. MICHAEL TOLD ME THE NAKED TRUTH! Michael was the first person I can remember who identified my “Pink Elephant in the Room” and made sound judgements about how I should change and move forward. Michael insisted I look him in the eye and told me “Sharon, if you do not change now, other if not all men may or will think that I was cognitively delayed. THOSE WONDERFUL WORDS OF TRUTH CURED MY SHYNESS INSTANTLY! As a result, I often tell him thanks for caring or loving me enough to set my delusional thoughts free!