Posted by: Shar & Mare | January 24, 2013

That’s Just Creepy

stalker_dateOftentimes male friends and dates have commented to me about how some women think that one date equals an instant relationship. Their opinions of this range from that’s just creepy, to makes me want to run in the opposite direction, to a non-verbal head shake and roll of the eyes. I have to be honest, I’d always thought that it wasn’t that big of a deal – just a “guy thing”, just as I know that a gal’s brain can automatically go into “wonder what the kids will look like” mode upon meeting a cute, hot guy (seriously guys, we don’t mean anything stalkerish when we do this…it’s a “girl thing”).

Well recently I met the male version of the instant relationship, and it was sort of creepy (rolls eyes and shakes head).

He Seemed Nice In His Profile

We connected on He seemed nice in his profile. I didn’t get a sense that we’d be instantly and totally soul-mate compatible, but there seemed to be possibilities there. Since I’m a great believer in giving everyone a shot, I made plans to meet him for drinks.

It was a nice meeting, no sparks but the conversation was lively. I was thinking OK, this may work…until he started talking about his ex-girlfriend…who was suing him (SUING HIM??!!) When I asked what in the world she could be suing him about, he sort of waffled and changed the subject. So…I pressed him for an answer and still got a sort of vague response.

Well, the date ended shortly after and he walked me to my car all the while going on and on about how our next date will be dinner and then…when we were seeing each other on a regular basis…we could make plans for a vacation. WHOA…I was still trying to untangle the huge red flag I’d just been smacked in the face with. I needed time to process. So I said a swift goodnight and headed home.

The next night I was about to head out to a rehearsal session for my next play when I got a text – Are you home? No, I texted back, going to rehearsal will be home late and will most certainly be too tired to talk. I’ll be in touch tomorrow. His reply? Well call me anyway. Wow, I thought that was demanding, pushy, and inconsiderate.

I Get It Now

When I did get home there were more texts waiting for me about how we had to plan out our next few weeks. Creepy, just creepy. OK guys, I get it now…LOL

I texted back that I didn’t want to continue to see him, went onto Match and blocked his profile. I would still like to know what in heck the ex was suing him about though!


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  1. I think I dated him. Actually, something similar but less stalker-like happened to me recently. The guy asked me to do about 10 things post-date while we were still on the date. I think he was just happy to meet a girl he liked 😉

    • I give guys a lot of slack on a very first date. I chalk it up to nerves…and yes we are irresistible too…LOL. When it extends to incessant texts after, well that’s where I draw the line!

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