I recently got an email from a guy through one of the online dating sites I’m on. Just a short note to tell me he liked my profile, thought my profile photo was cute and if I was interested I could call him. He included his cell phone number too. I liked that, I have a thing about wanting to talk early on in the process. I’ve just had one too many weird email conversations, I want to talk soon because this always gives me the strongest clues about whether the guy is honest, not a player, and if we’ll hit it off on a date.
I was actually headed off for a short vacation when he emailed so I sent him my cell and asked if he would call me when I returned the following week. He wrote back with an OK and he did indeed call me one evening when I’d gotten home. Which was also good…a man who keeps his word and calls when he says he’s going to call…Wow!
Well, that was as good as it got.
As we chatted I started to realize that he hadn’t really read my profile. I had read his and though it was short, I didn’t see anything in it that I’d consider a deal-breaker. Apparently though I had a few dealbreakers in mine. Which he would have noticed had he gotten past my profile photos and basic physical stats.
I mention very specifically in my profile that I’m involved in local theater. It doesn’t take up all of my time, I certainly have lots of time for dating and socializing with friends. However, when I’m working on a show I always have at least a month when I’m performing on weekends (not forever mind you, just four weekends!). Well, this poor guy nearly had a stroke over the phone.
“Oh, I have a boat that I hang out on on weekends in the summer! You won’t be able to do that!”
“Uh, well, the production I’m working on runs through the month of February. Definitely not a summer month, unless the end of the Mayan long count calendar has totally screwed up the seasons as we know them.” I chuckle a little to see if he gets the joke…he doesn’t.
“I work hard all week. I just want to hang out on a lake all weekend. I really want someone who can do that with me.” At this point I’m hearing a subtle hysteria in his voice. Apparently that lake nonsense is essential to his mental health…LOL.
If You Look Good And Can Float, You’re OK!
It dawned on me that, not only had “Lake Boy” not read my profile, but he wasn’t the least bit interested in finding a relationship in any way based on discovering each other’s unique interests and exploring them together. You know, actually be open to anything new or different. He just wanted a woman who looked pretty good and could spend every ….and I mean every weekend doing what interested him. Which I’m pretty sure entails just lying on a boat in a lake.
He finally told me, in a somewhat shaky voice, that he didn’t think we’d be a good match. I wholeheartedly agreed with this assessment.
So, I’m on to the next few male profiles on my list. Hopefully they will have gotten further than my photos, weight and height!